Someone in your life is in recovery. Recovery can include addiction to:
- work (a big one and socially acceptable)
- the internet/facebook/instagram
- video games
…. to name a few. When someone in your life is working toward recovery (or you wish they were), you often end up being codependent. Many people have heard that word before but don’t really know what it means. Some of the most common traits that I experienced myself and that I see with my clients are:
- inability to put yourself first- always taking care of others, no time for your self-care (when someone asks you how you are, do you immediately start talking about a loved one? Your partner, a friend who is struggling, your child?)
- attempt to control every (or most situations) in your life- how other people feel, act, what they say- you keep trying to control others even though you are the only one you can control
- difficulty setting boundaries– with family, friends, clients. You don’t know how to say no and energetic boundaries are not in place, so you may feel drained or might be super sensitive to the energy and mood of others
- underlying feeling of anxiety, worrying about other people (how will he/she/they act or react, will he/she/they be present when I see them, what kind of mood is he/she/they in today)
- feeling unloved, judged, ignored, causing you to be judgmental of others
- it is hard for you to be clear on what you want in your life as you are always worried about everyone else
I find that so many people do not realize what addiction does to them or to families. A marriage is not the only place addiction affects other people. Patterns built in an alcoholic home can affect adult co-workers, for example. The disease and behaviors run deep in families and these codependent behaviors are passed on for generations- it is often considered “normal” behavior. If you do happen to live with someone working toward recovery (or not) or be married to one, it can make life even more challenging.
I know it may be hard, but I am offering you a possibility to COMMIT TO YOUR SELF-CARE and start taking time for you and your healing. The person labeled as “the one with the addiction” is not the only one who has healing to do (and you can’t make them). You can only heal yourself. I am here to guide you in this process, if you are ready.
Commit to Intuitive Reiki Healing Sessions (please read more at the link) with me and I will help you:
- move your energy
- use tools for letting go
- implement anxiety release techniques
- create boundaries
- learn how to take care of yourself on a daily basis.
I am committed to talking about recovery and how it affects loved ones, family members and friends when someone is working toward recovery. I have over 8 years of recovery myself, after realizing how much I was affected by the people in my life who were either working toward recovery or not even getting support around their addiction. And the healing is not over for me. As I like to say, we are giant onions with layers to peel away, realizations and clarity to be found, and energy to be released. Sessions with me are relaxing, peaceful and rejuvenating. You release a lot, without having to talk about it or give me all the details. Many of my clients find that they release so much that they become more clear on what they want from life, what they want to create, and how they can do that with the many tools available that you may not even know about!
I know how hard it is to put yourself first, but you don’t have to continue this pattern of codependency in your family lineage. For the sake of the 7 generations, you can heal and recover, even if your loved ones never find the path of recovery and healing.